Traits of a Solitary Person

Everyone needs personal space in life. Various religions and faiths have also emphasized periodic withdrawal and contemplative solitude. Solitude and being alone with oneself is a fundamental need for every human being, but there are specific forms of isolation and loneliness that are unhealthy and harmful.

There is a vast and significant difference between solitude for psychological restoration and rejuvenation, and avoidant, fearful isolation from being in a group. How can one tell if a person's loneliness and isolation is pathological and unhealthy? Answer the following 4 questions. Your answers to these questions will determine the type of your loneliness and isolation.

1) Do you get stressed when you hear the phone ring? Does your heart rate increase when you are invited to a party? In other words, this question can be posed as: how does your body react to social interactions? When you are invited to accompany someone or to a party, note your body's reaction at that very moment. If you feel fear or resistance, or physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, short and rapid breathing, and stomach cramps, you are suffering from social anxiety. This avoidance and fear is different from a deliberate and voluntary intention. Sometimes you don't answer the phone and let the person leave you a voicemail because you are busy at that moment; this certainly does not mean you are afraid of answering the phone or avoid answering with the intention of being alone.

2) How do you feel when you are alone? If your answer to this question is freshness, a feeling of contentment, a feeling of vitality, and generally positive feelings and inclinations, then it can be concluded that you are an introverted person. But if your answer is: "I don't know what to say, I don't feel bad in a group or at a party either." Or perhaps you answer: "Being alone isn't bad, I can be by myself." This is where your being introverted or extroverted requires more reflection. Solitude for a short period is reasonable and acceptable, but avoiding being in a group is harmful and worrying. This issue is detrimental to your self-confidence, and you always carry the stress that something bad might happen to you in the presence of others.

3) Can you imagine yourself alongside others? If your answer is negative, what happens if others see and understand the real you? If your answer is negative, then you are not a suitable person for your colleagues, friends, and life partner, and you must make changes in yourself. If you think your real self is not safe and secure to share with the outside world, (perhaps because you feel you are not lovable, valuable, and strong), it might be time to consult a trusted and competent psychologist to dispel this feeling. Consulting a psychologist will help you regain your lost self-confidence.

4) And the most important question is: does the time you spend alone distance you from a happy and joyful life? Your solitude may become problematic if you consider isolationism as a way to escape and flee from society. But if solitude is for the purpose of rediscovering yourself, psychological rejuvenation, and inner restoration, it is not only not bad but also beneficial, provided it does not distance you from being in a group and accompanying other people for a long time. Sometimes you need to close the door and attend to your own affairs. This does not mean you are at odds with the world and society (Sources: psychologytoday, quora, psychologytoday) .

The passage of time in loneliness and seclusion varies depending on the individual's personality and circumstances, so not every kind of loneliness can be considered pathological. The great German philosopher and theologian Paul Tillich says: “Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of isolation and being alone, and conversely, it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone” (source).

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Traits of a Solitary Person

Compiled and translated by: Vidoal

Sources: psychologytoday / quora / psychologytoday / brainyquote

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