Can We Love Our Enemies?

Seddiq Qotbi:

“O friend, the world of love is a wondrous world! Being friends with enemies is never possible except in the world of love. – Ayn al-Quzat Hamadani”(1)

We can also love our enemies. This is not only possible but also beneficial and desirable. Loving one’s enemies should be understood primarily as “benevolence.” We may not enjoy keeping company and associating with enemies, the ill-natured, and those who have harmed us out of malice. No fault can be found with such withdrawal. But “malevolence” is another matter. The counsel of mystics and sages has been that we should not be “malevolent” toward anyone; rather, from the bottom of our hearts and the depths of our souls, we should wish well-being, prosperity, and a good end for everyone—even enemies and antagonists.

But how can one acquire such a disposition?

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One way is that, according to mystics, universal and unconditional benevolence adorns and makes paradisiacal the inner being and conscience of the benevolent person themselves. That is, in the first place, being benevolent is a service we render to ourselves. Rumi said:

“If you wish to be in paradise forever, be friends with everyone and harbor no malice toward anyone in your heart, for when you remember someone with friendship, you are always joyful, and that joy is the very essence of paradise. And if you remember someone with enmity, you are perpetually in sorrow, and that sorrow is the very essence of hell. When you remember friends, the garden within you blossoms with delight and is filled with roses and sweet basil. And when you mention enemies, the garden within you becomes filled with thorns and serpents, and you wither.”(2)

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Another aspect is that, in the belief of mystics, when we have universal benevolence, we become God-like. For in their view, God possesses universal love and vast, all-encompassing mercy: “and My mercy encompasses all things” (A‘raf: 156); “Our Lord, You encompass all things in mercy” (Ghafir: 7). The true sage, in their belief, is one who has the nature of the sun and the character of rain. Sari al-Saqati, one of our renowned mystics, said in this regard:

“The gnostic

is like the sun, which shines upon the whole world,

and like the earth, which bears the burden of all creatures,

and has the nature of water, by which the life of hearts exists,

and is of the color of fire, by which the world is illuminated.”(3)

Junayd of Baghdad said:

“The Sufi is like the earth, into which all filth is thrown and from which all good things are brought forth.”(4)

“The gnostic is not a gnostic until he is like the earth, upon which both good and bad tread; and like the cloud, which casts its shadow over all things; and like the rain, which reaches every place.”(5)

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Other dimensions can also be given for this universal benevolence. In the face of harms, misdeeds, and sufferings we endure from people due to illness, madness, or other compelling factors, we generally do not become malevolent or hostile. We excuse their behavior and consider them “excused.” The more we assume others to be deliberate and free-willed in interpreting their actions, the more prone we are to adopt malevolence. The view that mystics held toward human beings was accompanied by excusing and exonerating their intentions and purposes.

It is related that Shaykh Abu Bakr al-Wasiti used to go to the Jewish cemetery and say: “These are a people who are all excused, and they have an excuse.” People heard this statement, seized him, and were dragging him to the judge’s house. The judge shouted at him: “What is this statement you have made, that the Jews are excused?” The Shaykh said: “From the standpoint of your decree, they are not excused; but from the standpoint of His decree, they are excused.”(6)

Mystics mainly tried to interpret and construe people’s behavior in the best possible light and to avoid suspicious interpretations as much as possible:

Shaykh Abu Sa‘id Abu’l-Khayr was asked: “O Shaykh! What is chivalry (futuwwa)?” The Shaykh said: “The truth of chivalry is that you excuse people in whatever state they are.”(7)

It is related that Shibli said: I saw Mansur in a dream and asked, “What did God Almighty do with these people?” He replied, “He bestowed mercy upon both groups. The one who showed compassion toward me knew me, and the one who showed enmity did not know me; he acted with enmity for the sake of Truth. He had mercy upon them, for both were excused.”(8)

Sahl al-Tustari said: “Keep company with the gnostics, for they consider nothing to be too great, and for them every act has an interpretation; therefore, they will inevitably hold you excused in all circumstances.”(9)

Spinoza says: “Men hate one another more when they suppose themselves free, and hate one another less when they consider themselves necessary and determined.”(10)

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Enemies, unwittingly, can become the means of our awareness and elevation, and this very fact can be effective in curbing our ill will. The instability and transience of the world and the profound, ineradicable loneliness of the human being are truths that the cruelties and injustices of others bring into greater relief. Moreover, if we possess clear insight, sufferings and wounds broaden our existential capacities. Thus, the existence of unjust people can, in a sense, be considered a boon, and by taking this into account, we can further reduce the scope of our ill will. Christian Bobin wrote:

“In the face of the one who wounded you so much, you burst into laughter. You are no longer here, but you taught me a lesson that I now rewrite thus: ‘He who desires our ruin adds to our treasure.’”(11)

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Another point, attention to which can lead to our all-embracing benevolence, is awareness of the sufferings with which all human beings, even our enemies, are grappling. Awareness of the ineluctable fate of death, old age, illness, and the tragic dimensions of life that everyone confronts. Schopenhauer writes:

“In the case of every person with whom you come into contact, no matter who it is, do not attempt an objective evaluation of him based on his worth and dignity; do not look at his malice, narrow-mindedness, and perverse ideas; for the former can easily lead you toward hatred of him, and the latter toward contempt for him. Instead, direct your attention solely to his sufferings, needs, anxieties, and pains…”(12)

Understanding and being mindful of the point that the other—however malevolent and hostile toward me—shares my fate in many respects and experiences death and dying alone, fosters benevolence within us:

“When we finally realize that we die, and that all sentient beings also die, a burning and somewhat heartbreaking feeling of the vulnerability and preciousness of every moment and every being comes over us, and from this very place, a profound, limpid, and infinite compassion for all living beings grows within us.”(13)

Unamuno writes:

“This bitter despair, born of the awareness that just as you did not exist before being born, you will also be annihilated after departing this world, will give rise in your heart to compassion, that is, love for all your fellow human beings and brothers in this earthly world, for these unhappy shadows that emerge one by one from the casket of nothingness and sink back into the casket of nothingness, for these sparks of consciousness that shine for a moment in the infinite, eternal darkness. And this feeling of compassion you have for other human beings, for your fellow creatures, you will first find for those closest to you—that is, those with whom you live; and then it becomes a universal and complete compassion and extends to all living beings, and perhaps even to beings that do not have life but merely exist. That distant star, which shines in the heart of the sky at night, will one day be extinguished and turn to ash, and will shine no more, and will exist no more. The entire starry sky will share this fate. What a poor sky!”(14)

In the novel Zorba the Greek, it is written:

«زمانی بود که می‌گفتم این ترک است و آن بلغاری و این یونانی.. لیکن حالا با خود می‌گویم: این یک مرد خوبی است، آن یک آدم رذلی است. دیگر می‌خواهد بلغاری باشد یا یونانی، برای من فرق نمی‌کند. خوب است یا بد؟ این تنها چیزی است که من امروز درباره‌ی کسی می‌پرسم. و حتی در حال حاضر که دارم رو به پیری می‌روم، به نمکی که می‌خورم قسم، مثل اینکه دیگر کم‌کم این را هم نمی‌پرسم. آره، رفیق، آدمها خوب باشند یا بد، دل من به حال همه‌شان می‌سوزد. وقتی من آدمِ بدبختی را می‌بینم، ولو بظاهر نشان بدهم که به من مربوط نیست، دلم به حالش می‌سوزد و با خود می‌گویم که این بیچاره هم می‌خورد، می‌نوشد، عشق می‌ورزد و می‌ترسد؛ او نیز خدایی دارد و شیطانی؛ او نیز خواهد مُرد، زیر خاک خواهد خوابید و طعمه‌ی کرمها خواهد شد. ای بیچاره! ما همه برادریم و همه طعمه‌ای هستیم برای کرم‌ها!»(15)

یعنی آگاهی هر چه عمیق‌تر از این نکته که دیگری «هم‌رنج» من است و «همدلی» با وضعیت وجودی او، ما را مشفق‌تر و نیک‌خواه‌تر می‌گرداند.

ویتگنشتاین در همین رابطه گفته است:

«انسانها را بفهم! هر وقت می‌خواهی ازآنها متنفر باشی، سعی کن به جایش آنها را بفهمی.»(16)

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به ملاحظه‌ی یاری‌دهنده‌ی دیگری هم می‌توان اشاره کرد و آن اینکه هر چه خویش را پاک‌دامن‌تر و بی‌گناهتر بینگاریم، آمادگی بیشتری برای بدخواهی در برابر گناه‌کاران و دشمنان‌مان خواهیم داشت. ولتر می‌گفت:

ولتر می‌گفت: «ما باید متقابلاً نسبت به هم بردبار باشیم، برای آنکه همه ما ضعیفیم، نامعقولیم، آماده‌ی دگرگونی و ارتکاب اشتباهیم. یک نی خوابیده در لجن توسط باد آیا به نی دیگری که در جهت عکس آن خوابیده خواهد گفت: بدبخت، مثل من سینه‌خیز برو، وگر نه درخواست خواهم کرد تو را از ریشه دربیاورند و بسوزانند.»(17)

داستانی که در انجیل یوحنا در باب مسیح آمده است در همین رابطه معنا می‌یابد. مسیح خطاب به کسانی که آکنده از خشم، قصد سنگسار زنی را داشتند که مرتکب زنا شده بود می‌گوید:

«از میان شما آن کس که از گناه بری است، نخستین سنگ را بر او زند!» و چون همگان از خجلت این سؤال از قصد خویش منصرف شدند، مسیح رو به زن می‌کند می‌گوید: «من نیز ترا محکوم نمی‌کنم. برو و زین پس گناه مکن.»(18)

در پاسخ به این که آیا می‌شود دشمنان را دوست داشت و هر گونه بدخواهی و کینه‌ورزی را از ضمیر خود پیراست، شواهدی از متون مقدس و ادبیات عرفانی و تعلیمی ذکر کنم:

عبدالله‌بن‌مسعود می‌گوید: گویا هم اکنون رسول خدا(ص) را می‌بینم که از پیامبری حکایت می‌کند که قومش او را زده و خون‌آلود کرده‌اند و او در حالی که خون را از چهره‌اش پاک می‌کند، می‌گوید: «اللَّهُمَّ اغفِر لِقَومی فَإِنَّهُم لا یعْلَمُونَ»؛ خدایا! قومم را ببخشای چرا که آنان نمی‌دانند.(به‌روایت بخاری و مسلم)

پیامبر اسلام(ص) در روز احد، ابتدا گفتند: «إشتدّ غضبُ الله علی قَومٍ دمّوا وجهَ رسولِهِ»؛ خداوند سخت خشم خواهد گرفت برمردمانی که صورت پیامبرشان را خون آلود گردانیدند. آنگاه لحظاتی درنگ کردند و سپس گفتند: «ربّ اغفِرِ لِقَومی فَإِنَّهُم لا یعْلَمُونَ»؛ خدایا این قوم مرا بیامرز چرا که نمی‌دانند.(19)

چون به مکانی به نام جمجمه رسیدند، او[مسیح] را با آن تبهکاران بر صلیب کشیدند، یک در سمت راست و دیگری در سمت چپ وی. و عیسی گفت: «ای پدر، ایشان را ببخشای: نمی‌دانند چه می‌کنند.»(انجیل لوقا، باب 23 آیات 33 و 34)

عیسی به پیروان خود می‌گفت:

«You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what virtue have you shown? Do not even the pagans do the same?» (The Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5, Verses 43 to 48)

«But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to them the other also; and from the one who takes your cloak, do not withhold your shirt… Do to others as you would have them do to you. For if you love those who love you, what virtue is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what virtue is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.» (The Gospel of Luke, Chapter 6, Verses 27 to 35)

«Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.» (The Gospel of Luke, Chapter 6, Verses 36 to 38)

Then the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery and made her stand in the midst. They said to Jesus, «Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. Now Moses in the law commanded us that such women should be stoned. So what do you say?» They said this to test him, that they might have grounds to accuse him. But Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, «Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her!» Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard this, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones; and he was left alone with the woman standing there in the midst. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, «Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?» She said, «No one, Lord.» Then Jesus said, «Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on sin no more.» (The Gospel of John, Chapter 8, Verses 3 to 11)

«Do not give way to pride and arrogance, and do not act haughtily before the small and the great. Do not harbor resentment against those who reject you. Do not hate the godless and the wicked, and let us love not only the good but also the bad; do not forget them during prayer and supplication in the divine presence, and ask God for them thus: O God! Save those for whom no one prays, and grant even those who are unwilling to pray a share of Your mercy!»(25)

The congregation of disciples said: «What do you say about us who are disciples, and those who are deniers, and will stone you?» Mansur al-Hallaj said: «They have two rewards, and you have one; for you have nothing more than a good opinion of me, while they are moved by the strength of Tawhid to the firmness of the Sharia. And Tawhid in the Law is the root, while good opinion is the branch.

So as everyone was throwing stones, Shibli – to conform – threw a clod of earth. Husayn-i Mansur let out a sigh. They said: «From all these stones you did not sigh at all; what is the meaning of sighing from a clod of earth?» He said: «Because they do not know, they are excused. It grieves me coming from him, for he knows that he should not throw.»

Shibli said: I saw Mansur in a dream. I said, “What did God Almighty do with these people?” He said, “He bestowed mercy upon both groups. The one who showed compassion toward me knew me, and the one who showed enmity did not know me; he acted with enmity for the sake of God. He bestowed mercy upon them, for both were excused.”(21)

“A thief entered the house of a devout man. He searched but found nothing. He became distressed. The devout man became aware of this, picked up the coarse blanket upon which he slept, and threw it in the thief’s path so that he would not be deprived.

I have heard that men of God’s way

Did not constrict even the hearts of enemies

How could you ever attain this station

When with your friends there is discord and strife?”(22)

References:

1- Nameh-ha-ye Ayn al-Qudat Hamadani (Letters of Ayn al-Qudat Hamadani), edited by Ali-Naqi Monzavi, Afif Osseiran, published by Bonyad-e Farhang-e Iran

2- Manaqib al-Arifin, Shams al-Din Aflaki, edited by Tahsin Yazici, Tehran, Donya-ye Ketab, 1375

3&4- Tazkirat al-Awliya, Farid al-Din Attar Nishapuri, edited by Reynold Alleyne Nicholson, Nashr-e Asatir, second edition, 1383

5- Risala-ye Qushayriyya, Abu al-Qasim al-Qushayri, Nashr-e Elmi Farhangi, ninth edition, 1385

6- Tazkirat al-Awliya, Farid al-Din Attar Nishapuri

7- Asrar al-Tawhid fi Maqamat al-Shaykh Abi Sa'id, Muhammad ibn Munavvar Mihani, Nashr-e Agah, sixth edition, 1385

8&9- Tazkirat al-Awliya, Farid al-Din Attar Nishapuri

10- A Small Treatise on the Great Virtues, André Comte-Sponville, translated by Morteza Kalantarian, Nashr-e Agah, first edition, 1384

11- A Picture of Me Beside the Radiator, Christian Bobin, translated by Manouchehr Bashiri Rad, Nashr-e Ejtema, 1386

12- Parerga and Paralipomena, Arthur Schopenhauer, translated by Reza Valiyari, Nashr-e Markaz

13- Sogyal Rinpoche, quoted in: Staring at the Sun, Irvin D. Yalom, translated by Mehdi Ghabraei, Nashr-e Niko Nashr, first edition, 1389

14- The Tragic Sense of Life, Miguel de Unamuno, translated by Baha al-Din Khorramshahi, Nashr-e Nahid, fifth edition, 1380

15- Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis, translated by Mohammad Ghazi, Kharazmi Publications, third edition, 1389

16- Wittgenstein and Wisdom, Malek Hosseini, Nashr-e Hermes, second edition, 1389

17- A Small Treatise on the Great Virtues, André Comte-Sponville

18- The Gospel of John, Chapter 8, Verses 3 to 11; from: The New Testament, translated by Pirouz Sayyar, Nashr-e Ney, second edition, 1387

19- The Sun of Prophethood: Translation of Al-Rahiq al-Makhtum, Safi al-Rahman al-Mubarakfuri, translated by Mohammad Ali Lesani Fesharaki, Nashr-e Ehsan

20- The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Vol. 1, translated by Moshfeq Hamedani

21- Tazkirat al-Awliya, Farid al-Din Attar Nishapuri

22- Golestan of Sa'di, Chapter Two, Qoqnus Publications, edited by Mohammad Ali Foroughi, nineteenth edition, 1386